Copyright 2016. All rights reserved.

Dear Smut Lover,
My guess is that if the books were on bookshelves in a store, they couldn't be THAT bad. Still, your guilty pleasure is no one's effing business. . . especially not the business of a nine-year-old. Bribe her with Bieber tickets to stop talking about the naked books. Tell her she'll understand when she's older.
By the way, I'd love to know what dirty little secrets those same parents giving you the stink eye are hiding. You could probably WRITE a book on them and I bet it would be way worse than harmless Mommy porn.

                        -Ida's alter ego

Dear Cara,
Ever hear of doggy style?

                       -Ida's alter ego


Dear Ida,
I’m seeing a woman who has made it clear she is not ready to have sex with me.  I respect her for that, but I’m not sure I can go much longer without a release.  I’m a very handsome man with needs.  What do you suggest I do?
                                       -Needy in New York

Dear Needy,
Get a hold of yourself.  Literally.  Perhaps even try looking at yourself in the mirror while you jack off since you’re so handsome. 

                              -Ida's alter ego


Advice you don't want to hear. 

Want help with your problem? Ask Ida!

(Warning - The woman Ida's mail might answer your message.  Expect sarcasm and bitchiness!)


Have a problem?  Ask Ida!

Dear Ida,

I took my nine year old daughter to the book store the other day. I ended up in the romance aisle and found a few books I just had to buy. My daughter asked to see my choices. Against my better judgement I let her. She started laughing and screaming "these people are naked" "you read naked books" and then proceeded to tell five kids in our lacrosse car pool about my "naked books". All of the kids parents have been giving me the stink eye for the last week. They probably think I'm a perv. I just like smutty books. Do I address it or forget it? Help Ida!

                                   -Smut Lover in New York



 Puppy love?

Smut lover?

Dear Ida,
My boyfriend seems to have fallen into a state of depression after his twelve year old Labrador passed away last month. He doesn’t want to go out and even his libido has taken a hit. What can I do to snap him out of it and spark his interest in sex again?
                                           - Cara in Indiana